My Christian friend and I were talking, and she shared how hard it is for her to “love herself.” I thought, “Is that what we’re supposed to do, love ourselves?” “Can we really do that?” “What did Jesus teach us about love?” Then I began to see the deception of the enemy in my friend’s struggle in thinking she needs to learn to love herself.
When I asked her those 3 questions that came to mind (which I believe was from the Holy Spirit), she quickly saw the deception, and said, “Well maybe the word is ‘accept’ myself.” Yes, that’s it!
So then, what stops us from being able to accept ourselves? Why do we get so down on ourselves, even to the point of taking anti-depressants, or getting drug or high on something, or even wanting to kill ourselves?
What came to mind about how we learn to accept ourselves instead of hating ourselves is by learning what God thinks of us. How do we learn that? We learn about God’s love by reading His Word, but with God’s Spirit teaching us! (The devil also knows how to teach God’s Word from his perspective – in order to deceive us.) We learn about God’s love by seeing Him work in our lives as we call on Him by faith and hope in His promises.
Sure, you can listen to what other people tell you about how wonderful you are, or what you mean to them, but it’s not as powerful as when GOD TELLS YOU. God’s words in the Holy Bible are those ‘seeds’ of truth we need to have sown in us when we are struggling with serious matters about ourselves, or any matter about life. God is the creator of life and the sustainer of life, and our Judge in the end of our lives. Wouldn’t it be wise to go to His Word to learn about LOVE?
The Bible is jam-packed with ‘truths’ about God’s love for us. Even throughout eternity with the LORD we will be ever-learning about the love of God. For the Bible says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind can conceive or imagine what God has prepared and planned for those who LOVE Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
The Bible also tells us that we are unable to love like we should until we fully understand this truth: “We love him, because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
God hates sin, but God loves every sinner. Bottom line: We need to get over ourselves and get going with the Lord who literally showed us God’s love and acceptance – on the Cross.
I remember way back when my dear mother used to go to church with me and Mike and our kids. I thought it was odd that every time she came – she would go forward for salvation at the end of the pastor’s message. Finally I asked her why she keeps going forward to be saved, and she said, “Because I don’t feel saved, I feel guilty.” Wow, who do you think is doing his best to speak THAT into my dear mother? So I told her, “Mom, you don’t need to keep going forward to be forgiven and saved; once is enough. You simply need to start reading God’s Word (Holy Bible) to know how much God loves you, what His purpose is for your life, all that He has given you and that He will never leave you on your own.”
Why are we not expected to “love ourselves?” I believe it’s because “love” is not self-centered, nor self-serving, nor self-exalting. Let me ask this question: What do we see in our American culture today about the ‘love of self?’ In how many ways today – are children learning that to love themselves is most important before you can love others? What is wrong about loving myself? What is the danger in loving myself?
Well where does love come from? Did it originate in man, or from our Creator? If you go in search of answers to all this, and you neglect God’s Word, you will miss the truth altogether. You will be deceived!
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16
So I would assume therefore, that I am NOT to love myself because “love” is not selfish, not self-absorbed, not full of oneself. Like John the Baptist said: “Jesus Christ must become more important while I become less important.” (John 3:3) In other words, I must think far less of myself and think more of and upon Him. I need to die to myself – so that I can live in Christ Jesus. AND, the Holy Spirit is in us to help us do that step by step!
My friend told me that she felt that God was leading her to get into a personal study of the Scriptures about love starting with Romans 8. I’ll bet she comes away healed and whole after her study!
There’s no greater power on earth or in heaven – than the ‘truth’ about the love of God! And we know what Jesus said, “The TRUTH will set you free.”
The Lord’s apostle, James, wrote that we should love our neighbor as our self. But this is telling us to love ourselves; we already have that problem.
It’s not about me! It’s all about Jesus Christ!