I keep hearing from people that I have a lot of patience with difficult people; meaning the people THEY don’t have any patience for – that they think I have.
Why? I thought. Where does this patience come from? Because certainly I can’t claim any credit. So, as I thought about why I have patience with difficult (frustrating/annoying/rude/self-absorbed/critical) people, I understood why. If left to myself, I would have nothing to do with difficult people. Genuine patience comes from the LORD who loves difficult people and desires them to know His love for them.
Difficult people who make it hard for others to enjoy their company, or simply to be around them, are insecure, fearful and over-controlling people. The LORD will turn a person’s insecurity into peace with Him; their fearfulness into faith in His Word to them; their need to be overly controlling into trusting Him for the good He will work for them. It’s about a deep relationship with Jesus Christ – their Savior.
As for me, the LORD is showing me that having patience with “difficult” people is understanding how GOD sees them. AND, that praying for them (instead of writing them off), allows me to remain a friend to people whom others can’t stand to be with.
So, I thank the LORD, for HIS PATIENCE with me all the times I was difficult (and still am at times). One of HIS “fruits of the Spirit” is patience. I learn patience from His Holy Spirit’s power living in me that I submit to. My own pride will not allow me to be patient with difficult people. My pride will cause me to become outwardly or even secretly angry with difficult people; resenting them and regretting what I said to them out of frustration or anger.
“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:8-9
Waiting for GOD’s timing to say to a difficult person what GOD would have me say to them IN LOVE – is His work in ME! It can be hard to speak the truth when it’s God’s time to do so. On the other hand, it’s naturally easy to speak out of frustration and anger. One way works to the glory of GOD, and the other does not – to my own shame.
“Through patience even a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.” Proverbs 25:15
“A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.” 2 Timothy 2:24
“Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the LORD’s coming…be patient and stand firm, because the LORD’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The JUDGE is standing at the door!” James 5:7-9
Jesus said that by the standard I judge others, I will be judged! GOD will be as hard on me as I am on others! He will treat me exactly as I treat them. (Matthew 7:2)
When I grumble or complain, and gossip too, about difficult people, the LORD’s Spirit convicts me so that I feel guilty, and rightly so. So, I pray for ME! Help me LORD to see people like YOU see them. Let me see WHY they are so difficult to be with, and to put up with. It’s NEVER about what difficult people show outwardly! I’m learning more and more about the deep deep love of Jesus that sees what’s really going on in all of us and does not condemn us, nor forsake us.
I think this is my power to have patience with difficult people: “The LORD is FULL of compassion and mercy.” James 5:11b
I find that praying for difficult people to ‘see what they need to see, hear what they need to hear, and understand what they need to understand’ – will be graciously granted them by GOD…..because I was granted! What a Savior!