Relationships – Chapter 10

Reconciliation – Part 3 – Must Risk Confrontation

 

Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

 

Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”

 

One of the greatest difficulties in the area of leadership is the inability to confront when necessary.  Often the leader gets pushed into a corner where he must confront and then it is done in a wrong manner and does irreparable damage.

 

Many people fear confrontation. There are probably a number of reasons for this. It might be that we are afraid of making judgmental statements, or we have a feeling of inadequacy ourselves (who are we to judge?), or we ourselves have things to cover up.  In other words, we do not have a clear conscience and so we feel hypocritical.  Whatever the reasons might be, confrontation is something that we try to get out of.

 

Yet, when I read a verse like this in Matthew the one thing that comes out to me is that God wants a constant movement towards one another.  “If I see my brother… go!” “If I know that my brother has something against me… go!” We need to have honest communication with one another.

 

Often we go, but not to the one that we should go to, but we go to a third party and there we do our sharing. It becomes more of a time of gossip (God forbid that we call it “gossip!”) than a time of honest sharing and praying.

 

Some people ask the question: When should I go to another person and confront for any grievance or something that I think is wrong? I have found that before I confront another person I should first bring the matter before the Lord.  I have learned that when I have brought certain things before the Lord that soon they were erased from my mind.  I took this to mean that I was not to confront the other person with it.  However, if after I have brought it to the Lord and it still remains in my mind, often this is something that the Lord wants me to bring out to the person involved.

 

Sometimes when a person is confronted with something, they deny it. What do we do then? We take it as far as we can and then we leave it with the Lord.  When I was the director of the Doulos (one of Operation Mobilization’s ships) I had a situation where a brother was confronted with a particular thing, but he denied it.  I left it at that. A few months later I was visiting his country and through some rather strange happenings I found out that this brother had lied.  Later I confronted him with this.  At that time there was real confession and repentance.

 

When I look back over this incident I see a spiritual truth coming out about how to deal with confrontation.  In 1 John 1:7 we read, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”  When I originally confronted this brother I was walking in the light that I had.  When he denied it I had no more light at that time.  However later on, through circumstances arranged by the Holy Spirit, I received more light on this brother’s situation.  I now needed to walk in the new light that I had received and to confront that brother with it.  The result was brokenness, confession, repentance, fellowship and through restoration this brother is now being used by the Lord.  I often thought what would have happened with this brother if these steps were not taken.

 

In Matthew 5:23-24 the idea is that confrontation is to take place quite quickly, but first we need to pray and make sure that we have the log out of our own eye.  Then sometimes we allow too much time to go by so that when we think about confronting, it seems that we are bringing something out from the past and so we would like to by-pass the incident.

 

When confronting we need to make sure that we go with humility.  This is the idea that comes out in Matthew 18 where it says that we should “go.”  The Greek word brings out the idea “to lead oneself under, to withdraw or retire as sinking out of sight.”  In other words, we are to go with humility.  It always helps to realize that we have the same capacity for sin as the brother we are confronting.

 

My prayer for myself and for those who read this is – that we might be the kind of confronters that God wants.

Daily Devotional

Lord, things are not going well for Your children today, for they are in great trouble and disgrace. People who do not know the truth become angry when Your children tell them truth. They shout, “What are you doing? Why are you rebelling against the thinking of today?”

 

Son, I am giving you a message to a rebellious nation. Because of their rebellion to Me they have become stubborn and hard-hearted. The have turned to follow their own path; a path going downward, but that they call “progressive.” Yes, a progressing downward path! They refuse to listen to the message of My spokesmen, but even if they refuse to listen, you still must give them My messages.

 

Tell My children, “They are living in the last days, and it will be very difficult for them. People today only love themselves and their money. They have become boastful and proud; scoffing at My wisdom and warnings. They are unloving and unforgiving; they slander others to get what they desire and have no self-control. They are cruel and hate the truth. They have become reckless, puffed up with pride, and lovers of pleasure. They act religious, but they reject the power that could save them.”

 

These rebellious people have created a counterfeit faith where evil people and impostors flourish, and where good people are treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are treated as though they were good. This counterfeit faith is all about deceiving people.

 

My children must remain faithful to the things they have been taught by My faithful teachers. The time is now when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. But will look for teachers who will tell them whatever they want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after lies.  

 

My children must understand that to live a godly life – they will suffer persecution. They must know My Word which was written by Me and is useful in this day. It will show My children what is true. It corrects them when they are wrong and teaches them to do what is right. I will use My Word to help them be prepared and on how to live in this day. My children must live out My Word in their lives, and be prepared. I have a crown of righteousness, which I will give them on the day of My return, because they eagerly look forward to My appearing.

 

Lord, when You spoke to me Your Spirit that in me confirmed what You said. Therefore, I listen carefully to Your words to obey every one. You stand with me, and give me the strength I will need; I will tell everyone what You have said.

Relationships – Chapter 9

Reconciliation – Part 2

 

Matthew 7:1-5 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

 

When it comes to reconciliation one of the first steps we are to take is to start with ourselves. The above passage illustrates the truth that it is easy to see what is wrong with others, but far more difficult to see what is wrong with us.  We are to make sure that the ‘log’ is out of our own eye before we try to take the ‘splinter’ out of the eye of our brother/sister.

 

This, I believe, is a very delicate matter.  I think this is the reason why the Lord Jesus uses the illustration of the eye since the eye is one of the most sensitive parts of the human body.  So when the Lord talks about relationships and reconciliation, I believe these must be treated as delicate matters.

 

Ephesians 4:1-3 “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

 

We have unity in Christ.  It will take work and effort to maintain this unity.  Here in Ephesians Paul is giving us the type of behavior necessary to maintain unity and to bring about reconciliation.  This is what we must consider to make sure that we have the ‘log’ out of our own eye.

 

1. Humility:  The Greek word means humiliation of mind, i.e. modesty.

1 Peter 5:5 probably best brings out the idea of what Paul is trying to say here. “Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’”  The idea is to bring ourselves under.

 

2. Gentleness: The Greek word brings out the idea of mildness, meekness. Matthew 5:5 “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”

Meekness does not mean weakness. Perhaps the best way to describe this is “strength under control.”  It is the ability (or strength) to destroy, but held in check.  A good example of this is Moses.  He was the meekest man on the earth. When he came down from the Mountain with the Ten Commandments in his arms and saw the debauchery taking place among God’s people he could have stepped aside and allowed God to destroy them, but he didn’t. Strength under control.

 

3. Patience:  Perhaps one of the best definitions of the Greek word for

patience is, “to be long-tempered.”  One of the problems in relationships is anger. This is something that we will look at later.  When it comes to establishing and maintaining relationships, anger is something that will have to be dealt with.

 

4. Forbearance: Again the best definition for this word is, “to put up with.” In the New King James Version of the Bible it says: “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?” (Romans 2:4) We see that ‘forbearance’ is one of the attributes of God.

 

In closing I would like to say that the prayer for myself and for those that read this is that we might experience daily revival.  We need to see afresh how important relationships are and yet often how difficult they are to maintain.  Still maintain them we must.  This is our message of reconciliation and we cannot allow anything to interfere with that message.

Daily Devotional

Because your leaders have been persuaded to abandon Me, the LORD, the God of their ancestors – divine anger is beginning to fall on America. Since they have abandoned Me, I now abandon them; therefore judgment will be carried out.

 

When My children stand firm in their faith, unite and decide to act as children of the light; they will live their lives filled with My love and light. They will stand out in the darkness. They must not take part in the worthless deeds of evil any longer, but instead, expose them. They must make the most of every opportunity in these evil days by understanding what I want them to do. When they sing among themselves, making music to Me in their hearts, being thankful for everything, this will cause their enemies to become confused.

 

So My children, expose these leaders that have abandoned Me. Stand your ground against the progressive thinkers of today. Put on the belt of truth and the armor of My righteousness. Know who you are fighting and Who you belong to. Know what I have said about this day. Then PRAY, PRAY, and PRAY!

Daily Devotional

Son, I am the One who provides the sun to light the day, the moon and stars to light the night. My name is the LORD of Heaven’s Armies, and this is what I have to say about America.

 

Without wise leadership, America will fall; the fall has begun. America’s elected officials that it has now – are leading your country to ruin. Wickedness never brings stability; for the wicked have no common sense; what they have is nonsense. They have become altogether worthless, chasing fantasies.  These wicked leaders are trapped by their own words, and soon their lies will be exposed. Even some of My children believe their lies, and have turned their backs on the truth, and even on Me. They refuse to listen to My prophets whom I have sent with My message of warning, and with My words of hope and encouragement. Therefore, people are hopelessly confused, even while they argue and debate; for their minds are full of darkness. They have shunned the truth and deceived themselves. They have searched for evil and it has found them.

 

Son, this is what I say to those who search for Me with all of their heart. “There is hope for you!” I have unlimited resources, and by My Spirit I will empower them with inner strength.

 

When I am Lord of your life I am able to accomplish infinitely more than you might think you can do. So lead a worthy life because you are My child. Don’t be childish any longer, or you will continue tossing and turning, blown about by every wind of new teaching. Mature children will not be influenced when people try to trick them with lies that are so clever – they sound like the truth.

 

Guard your words; speak the truth in love. Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Let My Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature created to be like Me. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words encourage faith, hope and love in those who hear them.

 

Lord, I am sorry for listening to the wrong people; allowing them to control my feelings. I want to kick myself for being so foolish when You have been so direct and truthful with me. I am thoroughly ashamed. Thank You for Your forgiveness, Your unfailing love, and the future You have for me.

Daily Devotional

“God isn’t looking for people of great faith, but for individuals ready to follow Him.” – Hudson Taylor

 

“Son, do you trust Me with all your heart; then do not depend on your own understanding. Seek My will in all you do, and don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Honor Me with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. Don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Don’t plot harm against your neighbor, Don’t envy the power of violent people or copy their ways intimidation. Don’t forget My words, but take hold of My instructions; never let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life. Let them penetrate deep into your heart. Allow them to burn in your soul, and then look straight ahead at what lies before you, and you will know what to do!

 

I am shocked that so many have turned away from Me and My word. They have been fooled by those who deliberately twist the truth concerning Me, and misinterpret My word to serve themselves. They take away the freedom in My Son Christ Jesus. They think the way to reach Me is to follow rules and rituals. The way to reach Me is by a truthful relationship through My Son; for He is the only way.

 

“If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him.” — C.T. Studd

Daily Devotional

Son, always think carefully before speaking, and do not speak words that please people, but say what please Me. Then when you are faced with the judgments that are coming (war, disease, drought, and injustices) you can come into My favorable presence, and I will protect and rescue you. When you do not know what to do, just call out to Me; then stand still and watch what I do. Because I am with you – you should not be afraid of what you see or hear. You should not become discouraged either; for I have told you the future and what you can expect from Me. Just speak what I tell you to say and don’t hold back one word.

 

Don’t waste time trying to correct people who do not trust Me. They will reject your words because they trust the wisdom of the world instead of Me. Instead, spend time with those who know My word, and watch for the opportunity to apply My word in their life. They will eagerly take in what I have given you to say, and not reject it. They will be well prepared for My judgments that are coming; for they are the wise ones that have a strong foundation of My love and truth. They will be the ones that truly understand the time they live in – knowing what to do and not do; knowing right from wrong.  They know that I will make everything work out according to My plan. They understand the incredible greatness of My power; for they have trusted in My promises and not in the ways of the world. Remember that My salvation is not a reward for the good things My people have done. I give My salvation to those who trust Me with all their heart so that they can live in this world with hope! They know the plans I have for them, plans that are for their good and not for disaster, to give them a future and hope.

 

When My children began to live out My Word they will sing and give praise to Me. This will cause those who oppose Me to turn against each other. Their own rejection of Me will torment them, for they know what is coming that they cannot prevent or soften. When My children pray, and look for Me wholeheartedly they will surely find Me. Not everyone can come into My presence; only those who have My acceptance; for who would dare try – unless I’ve invited them? In the days to come, My children will understand all of this.

 

Daily Devotional

How will Satan make the church ineffective? Fear! Listen to what is being said today by the people who we listen to. Fear of the weather, fear of disease, fear of war and terror, fear of not being inportant or that you matter, fear of injustice, etc. Remember that the four things that reveal a country is under God’s judgment is: injustice, war, droughts, and disease. Satan knows this and he will use this to bring fear into the children of God so that he can control them with fear. 

 

What is the solution to fear? God says, “My love expels all fear.” So if you are fearful about the judgments that God has brought, and is bringing, on America then you have not fully experienced His perfect love.

 

The LORD will stay with you as long as you stay with Him! Whenever you seek Him, you will find Him. But, if you abandon Him – He will abandon you. So seek Him in His Word and prayer each day, and you will surely find Him. He then, will give you rest from every fear you have. For, He searches the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.

 

2 Chronicles 16:12

Relationships – Chapter 8

Reconciliation – Part 1

 

Matthew 5:23-25 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

 

“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.”

 

Matthew 18:15-17 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

 

We live in a world where man is not only separated from God, but also separated from his fellowman.  We see the reality of this when we look back over the 20th century.  There never has been such a century of bloodshed.

 

Even now when we look forward to the 21st century it does not look any better.  We see disputes among the nations, marriages that are falling apart, children estranged from their parents and churches breaking apart because of disunity.

 

We who are in Christ have been given the ministry of reconciliation.

 

2 Corinthians 5:18-19 “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”

 

The Gospel is the power of God to bring reconciliation between a Holy God and a sinful man.  What a powerful message this is in the Muslim world where two billion people are trying to find peace with God.

 

Satan knows that this is a powerful message that we have to offer to the world and the world is waiting to hear.  This is why broken relationships and disharmony among God’s people is so evil.  It takes away the message that we have.

 

We cannot separate the message from the messenger.  Broken relationships among us distort the message.  How can we talk about reconciliation when there are broken relationships among us?

 

The definition of reconciliation: to harmonize, to restore to union and friendship after estrangement.

 

Matthew 18:19-20 “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”

 

It is interesting that the word for ‘agree’ is the word ‘sumphoneo:’ to be harmonious. 

 

It brings out the idea of a symphony with different musical instruments all in tune with one another bringing out tremendous sound of harmony and beauty.

 

Take a family, church or community of people who come from different backgrounds and cultures living and working together in harmony.  What a testimony! What a powerful message this sends to a world that is divided.

 

Back in the early 70’s the OM Logos ship was in the Sudan.  The Minister of Education came to open the book exhibition.  He was a Muslim.  When he looked around and saw all of the different nationalities on board the ship speaking different languages and working without salary, he said that we were like a small United Nations, except, he said, we had unity.  The second comment was a question.  How could we live together like we did?  He knew it was not the money, but he could not understand how it was possible.  This was how we brought Jesus Christ in; how Christ has broken down the barriers and brought us together.

 

It is hard for a Muslim or any person no matter what religion he might have (or no religion at all) to argue with this type of testimony.  Jesus knew this and He prayed in John 17 that His people might be one as He and the Father are one, so that the world might believe.  The opposite of this is true as well. If we are not one – then the world will not believe.

Relationships – Chapter 7

What To Do About Conflicts

 

Now that we know that conflicts are inevitable the question comes up: What do we do about them?  How do we handle them in such a way that they might be growth oriented and not disintegrate into a problem?

 

If I look back over my ministry, there seem to be four ways that conflicts have been handled:

 

1.         Unwillingness to face it.  Often we have been like an ostrich with our head in the sand unwilling to face the reality of a developing conflict. “Conflict?  What conflict?” seems to be the response of some.  However, this is one way of confronting a conflict and sadly this is the way some handle it.

 

2.         Dealing with side issues instead of the real issue. In English we have a saying: “Beating around the bush.”  Basically, what it means is that we skirt around the real issue and never get to the heart of the matter.  Sadly this is the way conflicts often have been dealt with.  Instead of getting to the heart of the matter we deal with things that might seem important, but in reality all it is doing is putting a band-aid on something that might need an operation.

 

3.         Trying to ignore it.  This is a little different than the first one where we are unwilling to face a conflict.  This is where we know there is a conflict, but we believe that if we ignore it somehow it will go away; somehow it will take care of itself. All we have to do is wait and eventually it will work itself out. This is wishful thinking.  It never happens because we have an implacable enemy who is making sure that it never will go away.

 

4.         Working it out Scripturally.  This is the only way that we can deal with a conflict.  Working it out scripturally means that we will move towards true reconciliation.  We will be looking at this later on. Reconciliation does not necessarily mean that the conflict is resolved as far as the issues are concerned.

 

When we work on reconciliation we are dealing with personal relationships.  We may not be able to resolve the issues completely because there will always be a difference of opinions that stem from our background, experience, culture, language, etc.

 

We need to keep in mind that in any relationship (marriage, etc.) the goal is not for us to think alike, but to think together. The goal in a relationship is unity not uniformity.

 

We need the difference of opinions. There are no two people alike. However, when there are differences that grow into conflicts, we need reconciliation.