Conflicts Can Be Growth Oriented
If we do not deal with a conflict in the right way it will become a problem. A problem in this sense is an unresolved conflict and it can be quite damaging.
Satan is always looking for an advantage through unresolved conflicts. 1 Peter 5:8 brings this out: “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” In the Body of Christ Satan knows that this is where he can do the most damage.
In Scripture we are told that we should not be unaware of his schemes. We can understand Satan’s schemes when we consider what he is called.
Revelations 12:8-10 “The great dragon was hurled down – that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: ‘Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.’”
In these verses we learn two things about Satan that we should be aware of:
1) Satan is known as the deceiver
2) Satan is known as the accuser
When it comes to relationships we need to keep these two things in mind. We can see how he gains an advantage. Whenever a conflict comes up in a relationship Satan is there to deceive. One way that he does this is to get us to think that the conflict is not serious, or, that we should be spiritual and just rise above it, or that we should just pray about it. All of this sounds good, but God tells us to go to our brother. (Matthew 5:23 and 18:15-17)
The last thing that Satan wants in any broken relationship is for us to be talking to one another. He will try to keep us separate and this is what he does through deceit. When we are not talking with the other person about the offense or conflict, like Jesus said, then Satan comes and begins to whisper in our ears accusations about the other person. Then we begin to see that everything the other person does – is against us. We then find that negative things about that person begin to build up in our mind.
What may have seemed like a little mole hill has now become a mountain, or perhaps a volcano, and eventually it erupts so that the damage is great; perhaps it even seems beyond repair. Satan has done his work. We now have a real problem.
However, when a conflict arises and we work it out we can find that it results in spiritual growth. For example, when we work out the conflict we find that it can result in a deeper understanding of the person that we had the conflict with. Things that we did not know about him/her before, things like his/her background or fears, give us the understanding we need of what they are going through. When we begin to see this we not only have compassion for them, but also a deeper realization of the grace of God.
In Hebrews 12:15 we are told: “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” If we do not work out the conflict then a root of bitterness will spring up. Bitterness to our spirit is like poison to our body; it kills.
However, in working through the conflict for the sake of the relationship we experience the grace and power of Ephesians 2:14-16 “For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.”
Another very positive result of all of this is that we begin to develop a meaningful dialogue with one another. So often our dialogue is very shallow and self-centered, but the working out of a conflict tends to deepen our conversation with one another and our love for one another.
All of this of course, brings spiritual growth. We need to keep in mind that we grow by working through these daily conflicts with people.