Relationships – Chapter 25

Posted by & filed under Franks Blog.

Proverbs 29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

 

In dealing with anger the question that comes up is: How do we handle anger?

 

Many people today in our culture handle anger in a negative way. What I mean is that they handle it by denying it. They deny that they are angry and pretend to be at peace. Here in the Western world we live in a culture saturated with denial. I am not an alcoholic; I am not a drug addict, I am not abusive to my wife, I am not angry with you, etc., even when the evidence is completely the opposite.

 

Another way a person handles anger in a negative way is to attack something or someone else. Our culture teaches us to pass the blame. I was reading an article where an FBI agent was fired because he embezzled $2,000.00 to pay for his gambling debt. He went to court and successfully argued that his gambling problem was due to something else in his life. He was excused and had to be reinstated back into the FBI.

 

However, this is the way that many people handle anger. They attack someone else by blaming others, like their wife, children, parents, colleagues or their circumstances. We find that most people do not take the blame for their own actions.

 

Another negative way of dealing with anger is to turn in upon ourselves. This leads to self-criticism and sometimes suicide. I used to have a little talking doll in my office with the saddest and most pathetic face and when I said something it would respond through sentences that were stored up inside of the doll, like: “I am a disease. I make myself sick…” This is one way we learn to be angry with ourselves to the point of hurting ourselves or ending our life.

 

Withdrawal is another negative way to respond to anger. This is probably the way a person who has the tendency to implode responds to anger: he withdraws.

 

What we need to do with anger is to respond to it in a positive way. This means that we will attack the problem and not the person; that we will see the circumstance as an opportunity; etc. Remember that anger is sinful when it is directed towards others in order to hurt them. When anger comes up we need to see what the problem is and identify what is really making us angry or fearful.

 

Along with that we must also learn to control our anger. Proverbs gives us some good advice. Proverbs 16:32 “Better a patient man than a warrior; a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” Proverbs 25:28 “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” Patience and self-control are fruits of the Spirit and they are powerful.

 

In our relationships we must always be moving towards reconciliation. When reconciliation is done in a biblical way this is the right solution to the problem. Reconciliation comes when we see what the real problem is.Working through the problem with another person makes us slow to get angry.

 

Jay Adams said: “90% of counseling has its roots in anger. Along with the sad and the bad we should look out for the mad.”

Daily Devotional

Posted by & filed under Mikes Blog.

Son, soon people will begin to ask, “Why is all this happening to us?” It is because they have forgotten Me, and My Word. When people feel it is safe to do wrong, all that is wrong for people to do – fills the land. When people refuse to listen to Me, they become good for nothing. My children are treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are treated as though they were good. This is so meaningless to think like this.

 

Now let Me tell you why I am holding back the needed rain in California. You’ve heard it said, “As California goes – so goes the nation of America.” Therefore America, pay attention to what is happening and going to happen in California because the leaders have turned away from Me and My Word; they do not see the need to restrain themselves from all sexual sins. Therefore, I will remember all their wickedness and will punish them for their sins. I will judge them with continual disturbances, drought and disease.

 

People need to accept the way I do things, for the only certainty in this life is in what I say. When the false prophets, pastors, and teachers tell the people, “All is well. We will overcome conflict, water shortage and disease. We know how to resolve these issues.” They are lying! I did not give them this message, nor did I send them or tell them to speak this way to the people. They are fools that only no how to speak of foolishness that is made up in their own lying hearts.

 

Lord, can Your children avoid what is going to happen? If so, how?

 

Son, I am merciful and forgiving I am the source of all peace and comfort. I will comfort My faithful children in all their troubles. So when My children are troubled, and crushed beyond their ability to endure, I will be there to help them live through it – if they will stop relying on themselves and learn to rely only on Me. I placed the Holy Spirit in their hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything I have promised.

 

The lives of My children are a like fragrance rising up to Me. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are saved and those who are perishing. To those who are perishing, My children are a dreadful smell of death and doom to them.

 

Lord, only You can give me hope; so I will look to You and wait for You to fulfill Your Word to me.

Same-Sex Marriage Rights

Posted by & filed under Carols Blog.

These 5 justices are now on God’s hit list because of their voting to support same-sex marriage rights. Pray and watch what happens to them now, especially the one justice (swing vote) that was obviously ‘bought’ or ‘threatened’ so that he voted along with the wicked.  

 

Just because same-sex marriage rights have now become the law for all states, doesn’t mean that we have to shut up and play dead. Our calling and gifts are irrevocable!

 

This is going to cost Christian parents more, and in many ways. I wonder how many will see it this way, and make the necessary adjustments and sacrifices it will take to “train up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?”  

 

What really grieves Mike and I is to see so many Christian (?) young adults agreeing with same-sex marriage rights, going along with winds of teaching of various kinds because they do not know the truth or the will of God as they should.

 

What good are we to God if we cower down? What else can our God do if His Church won’t agree with Him about sin and rebellion, or if we ARE convinced/convicted, but don’t know how to fight, or know what to fight for? What are we afraid of? Persecution? Loss of the things we have? Death? Are we afraid that if we step out with real faith in God, that He will let us down? 

 

I see three different types of Christians (in America) today: one that believes it’s God’s will that we take America back from unbelievers before America gets any worse; one that believes America is too far gone and that God’s people need to prepare for persecution both physically and spiritually; one that believes the best about our government and trusts in the leadership.

 

What type are you, or are you all of the above?

 

Dr. Dobson states about the new law:

 

I grieve most for what it will do to our children, our grandchildren and future generations. They will be taught that right is wrong and wrong is right, and that the teachings of Scripture are unreliable and inaccurate. How outrageous it is that boys and girls barely out of babyhood are already being introduced in some schools to perverse adult behavior.

 

Soon, public school textbooks throughout the country will be re-written and re-illustrated to conform to today’s ruling. It matters not that these revisions will contradict the beliefs and convictions of their parents. It will soon become the law of the land.

 

Many more vulnerable kids will grow up in homes with same-sex parents, obviously lacking either masculine or feminine role models. They are the real victims of the Court’s ruling.
Adults will suffer, too. I believe a barrage of court cases has already been planned against those who hold to politically incorrect views of marriage. Many of us will be dragged into court to be prosecuted or subjected to civil judgments. Some will lose their jobs, while others forfeit their businesses. Some will be persecuted and ridiculed and fined. Some may go to prison as the years unfold. Since same-sex marriage has now been determined to be a universal human right by the highest court in the land, it will trump religious liberty, churches, seminaries, Christian schools, businesses and a host of individual liberties. I also fear that judgment will befall this once great nation.

 

Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2015/06/i-fear-judgment-befalling-america/#ueQfGrIUqdJbuLmi.99

 

Here’s another report by WND:

 

“We the undersigned have joined together to present our unified message and plea to the justices of the United States Supreme Court regarding the matter of marriage.

 

“We are Protestant, Catholic and Orthodox Christian pastors, clergy, lay leaders and Jewish leaders, who collectively represent millions of people in our specific churches, parishes, denominations, synagogues and media ministry outreaches.”

 

They described anything other than biblical marriage as “an unjust law, as Martin Luther King Jr. described such laws in his letter from the Birmingham jail.”

 

They said they will choose the Bible.

 

“On this choice, we must pledge obedience to our Creator. While there are many things we can endure, any attempt to redefine marriage is a line we cannot and will not cross.”

 

They refer to DefendMarriage.org, where tens of thousands of Americans already have signed a related pledge.

 

The signers include: Matt C. Abbott of Renew America, Kirby Anderson of Point of View Talk Radio, Archbishop Foley Beach of the Anglican Church in North America, David and Jason Benham, Pastor Paul Blair of Fairview Baptist Church in Edmond, Oklahoma, Dean Broyles of the National Center for Law and Policy, Kevin Burke of Priests for Life, Rabbi Jonathan Cahn, David Crow of Restore America, Steve Deace of USA Radio Network, former Rep. Tom DeLay, Elaine Donnelly of Center for Military Readiness, Deacon Keith Fournier of Catholic Online, Pastor Jim Garlow of Pastors Rapid Response Team, Pastor John Hagee of Cornerstone Church, Fr. Mousa Hadaa of St. Mary Antiochian Orthodox Church, Pastor Jack Hibbs of Calvary Chapel, Bishop E.W. Jackson, Bishop Harry Jackson Jr., Penny Nance of Concerned Women for America and Pastor Rick Scarborough of Vision America The “Marriage Pledge” being signed by Americans states: “We will view any decision by the Supreme Court or any court the same way history views the Dred Scott and Buck v. Bell decisions. Our highest respect for the rule of law requires that we not respect an unjust law that directly conflicts with higher law. A decision purporting to redefine marriage flies in the face of the Constitution and is contrary to the natural created order.”

 

It continues: “Experience and history have shown us that if the government redefines marriage to grant a legal equivalency to same-sex couples that same government will then enforce such an action with the police power of the state. This will bring about an inevitable collision with religious freedom and conscience rights. The precedent established will leave no room for any limitation on what can constitute such a redefined notion of marriage or human sexuality. We cannot and will not allow this to occur on our watch.”

 

Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2015/06/dobson-graham-to-supremes-well-choose-bible/#v3zRww7AjubDLobg.99

 

What if our generation is the generation that sees the return of the Lord with His millennial reign on earth? What did Jesus say to watch for? Why are we to watch for these things taking place on the earth?  What did He tell us to be doing until He comes? Every Christian, man, woman and child of age – is to know the answers to these questions, unto obedience.

 

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us. Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among me: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by Him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.” 1 Peter 2:9-17

 

Some things come out to me here:

 

We, the Church of Jesus Christ, are a holy nation belonging to God and under His Higher Law; a nation without boundaries, divisions and corruption, abstaining from sinful desires, unlike any nation of the earth.  We do not submit to laws that oppose God’s laws of nature and societal order. Jesus told us that we should have no other debts to pay, but that of love, an outstanding debt.  

 

We are not fighting for America, but rather for Christ’s Kingdom, and as Jesus Himself claimed: it is strong and forceful men that will advance His kingdom. (Matthew 12:10)  We better not get this confused. If we fight and sacrifice for anything, let it be for the Kingdom of God. Every nation has the same offer from God; that if they humble themselves before Christ, and obey His Word in righteousness and justice – God will exalt them as a nation.  We are not to fight for an unholy cause, but for the message of God reconciling man to Himself through Jesus Christ – to go forth into every nation until every group of peoples has had the same opportunity to hear the truth and receive the free impartial gift of God.  What good is it to go fight for another nation that rejects the living God?  We fight in the biblical way – for the individual, group or tribe that God puts in our heart to pray for, give to, speak to and sacrifice for, especially our own children, first and foremost.

 

In America, most states have submitted to this new law, but Alabama (for one) has made a stand against it in support of the true definition of marriage and family, God’s definition.  We need to first agree with the Bible, God’s Word to us, and then pray for those in authority: “that the disobedient would turn to the wisdom of the righteous.” (Luke 1:18)  And, so that “they turn” we must NOT shut up and play dead. We must prove who has the true wisdom by the way we live and conduct ourselves, by the way we work together and trust in the Word of God. “Wisdom is proved by her actions and children.”

 

The Kingdom of God comes into us when we first trust in the love and work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and is why Peter urges us to abstain from sinful desires, which WAR AGAINST OUR SOULS. This is where our battle is mostly, day to day; one that we do not have to lose – given what we have been invested with from our heavenly Father. Because we belong to Christ, all things belong to us! Greater is He who is within us, than he that is in the world. Our bodies became the temple of the Holy Spirit when we first trusted in the salvation of Jesus Christ; unto godliness, guaranteeing (by the deposit of His Spirit in us) that which is ‘to come.’ Every promise of God is “YES” to us, and we are the “AMEN!”  Sealed of God by the blood and word of His own Son.

 

The Lord taught Abraham, and Jesus taught His apostles, to live as aliens and strangers in this wicked world; not to get comfortable here, enslaved here, dependent here. That message still rings true in our day. For Christ will return with His new world order; the order we are to be living in right now, personally and collectively as His free-moving body.

 

That which is of the world, is not our longing or our fight; we are not required to sacrifice a thing for this wicked world; not to surrender one thing of God’s to the world, or to the nation we live in that has turned their back on the One we love and will die for if necessary.  Jesus said, “Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, but give to God what belongs to God.” Do we know the difference?!

 

Peter also states that God’s will is for us to do good, to live godly lives before the pagan world (of all nations), that in so doing they will see our good deeds (acts of righteousness) and glorify God on the day He visits.  What are these “good deeds,” or “acts of righteousness,” which New Jerusalem (Christ’s Bride) wears on that future Day?  The Bible tells us what they are. Jesus did them all, the first church did them all with His Spirit, and we can do them all like-wise.

 

We are not of this world, not as it is that is; for we will return with our King for God’s one thousand years of the earth and world’s make-over. (Rev. 19) He will give us the nations, if we have asked for a nation.  Every nation will honor the Lord when He reigns from Jerusalem’s throne; for He will strike down the nations with His Sword: the word of His mouth.  (Rev. 19)  For now we pray, make the necessary ‘personal’ adjustments and sacrifices to bring the light of Christ’s Gospel to those God sees waiting for the right to become His children, in any nation.

 

The Day is coming when we will work with the Lord to make all things new that God first called “good.” But as long as we are in this dying world, we have a responsibility to shine with the “light of Christ,” and as the “salt” that people get to “taste” the goodness of the Lord through. We are His wonderful fragrance to those being saved, but to those that are perishing (refusing to trust in Him), we are the stench of death – a continual reminder of what awaits their rebellion in the end.   

 

What does all this have to do with our nation’s new law supporting same-sex marriage? We need to be wise, with godly wisdom in picking our fights, wise with the plans and goals we make, wise with the words we speak, wise with the actions we take. Jesus called it: shrewd and gentle, as He displayed in His time on the earth. This day calls for wisdom; something the American church, for the most part, lacks.

 

Remember this, if we do the right thing (by God’s approval) the Lord will protect and provide for us; all His promises are YES to those who will live by faith, and not by fear or pride.  

      

Daily Devotional

Posted by & filed under Mikes Blog.

When man thinks his knowledge is greater than the knowledge of God, he becomes a fool!

 

Son, I am ready to help America, but no one is asking for My help; no one is even looking for Me. I shout to your leaders, “Here I am, here I am!” but they do not call on Me. All day long I open My arms to them, but they follow their own evil paths, and insult Me.

 

They have become a stench in My nostrils that never goes away. For I can see what they are doing, and I know what they are thinking; it’s all nonsense. Because these people don’t know Me they will never understand the truth. To them truth sounds like foolishness.

 

My children should understand these things, for they have My Word and My Spirit. When they commit themselves to My Word, listening carefully to My words of knowledge, they will become wise and know the right course and actions to take. When My children grow in My truth they  won’t part with it for the world’s acceptance of them. They have good judgment because they are wise and disciplined with My Word. Their homes are filled with love, joy and peace because My truth nourishes their souls. They are convinced that they have a bright future with Me.

 

People who refuse My words of wisdom, are impatient and angry people. The message of the Cross of Redemption is foolishness to them because they stubbornly resist Me time after time when I come to them.  They will have no good future; for I will send them great trouble of all the things they fear. When they call, I will not answer because they deliberately sin before My eyes and choose to do what they know I despise.

 

Son, I still have true servants in America that search for Me daily to grow in My truth and wisdom. Their hard work will not be in vain, and their children will not be doomed to misfortune; for they are the people blessed by Me! I will answer them before they even call to Me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will answer their prayers! I will bless those who have humble hearts, who tremble at My warnings and obey My instructions. I choose those who trust in My Word and rely on the power of My Holy Spirit – to shame those who think they are powerful and greater then Me.

 

Lord, open my eyes to Your truth. Help Me to seek Your guidance in everything I do and not become proud.

Daily Devotional

Posted by & filed under Mikes Blog.

Son, what do you get for all your hard work? Understand that there is nothing better in life than to find satisfaction in your work, when you do – this also pleases Me. I will give you wisdom, knowledge and joy in these last days.

 

I do this for all My children, but some of My children have made bad choices and so their lives have become wearisome beyond description. No matter how much they see, they are not satisfied, or content. They have been fooled by those who promise them a great life if they follow them. These teachers say that I will be merciful, but these teachers do not tell My children the complete truth. I will be merciful if they repent and turn from their evil thoughts and deeds; when they start treating each other with justice; when they stop exploiting orphans, and widows; when they stop murdering unborn children; when they stop worshiping the things of this world.

 

Some of My children will not listen to reason or even try to hear Me. They have become stubborn and sinful. Do they really think they can worship what the world worships; to cheat and steal, lie, commit adultery and murder, and then come stand before Me without any shame, as they do?  They actually believe they are safe from all the things that are coming upon the wicked; as they don’t see their own wickedness. If they will repent and begin to obey Me, I will be their God, and they will be My children. If they do everything as I say, all will be well. But, My children must start listening to Me; for if they keep doing whatever they want, following the stubborn desires of their evil hearts, they will go backward into what they were before they first came to Me, but worse, because they have known better.  I plan for My children to go forward, not backward, but each one of them must decide to go with Me. They need to remember what happened in the past generations when My children rebelled against Me and My Word.

 

Son, My grief is beyond healing, and I hurt for My rebellious children. I am overcome with grief with what I have to tell you about their future. I do not expect them to listen. But shout out My warnings anyway, even if the do not respond. These children of Mine who will not obey Me and who refuse to be taught the truth of My Word, I will allow them to go down this self-destructive path! Listen to their conversations and you will not hear a word of truth. Is anyone sorry for doing wrong? Does anyone say, “What a terrible thing I have done!” No! All are running down the path of sin. They claim to be wise with their knowledge of My Word, but their knowledge of My Word has been twisted with lies. These lies give assurances of peace, but no peace will come. They hope for a time of healing, but will find only terror.

 

Lord, I do not want to tell this to people, but I am compelled by You to do so. I have no choice, for You have given me this sacred trust.

 

Son, everything is written down in My Word to warn and instruct people who live at the end of the age. These things were written as a warning to show them that the temptations in their life is no different from what others experienced. Just like their forefathers I was faithful to them to lead them and protect them, and so I will be for them today.  I will not allow any temptation to be more than they can stand, but I will always show them a way out so that they can endure. But they must repent, choose to listen to Me and obey My Word!

 

Daily Devotional

Posted by & filed under Mikes Blog.

Son, every word of Mine will come true, so do not add to My words, but say everything I tell you.

 

America is at a crossroad! They can choose My way, and find rest for their souls. Elect new leaders who will guide them in truth and honesty; leaders that will speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, ensure justice, and help the poor, defend the helpless. Remember, when leaders seek My counsel – the people rejoice!

 

The leaders in America today will not pay attention to My warnings, because they have rejected My Word. These leaders spout out evil like a fountain. Their ears are closed, and they cannot hear Me. They have only scorn for those who speak out My Word! They refuse to listen to My prophets, and they offer superficial treatments for the people’s wound. They give assurances of peace when there is no peace for them.

 

I posted watchmen over America who said, “Look at our streets, they echo with the sounds of violence. Our leaders are pure in their own eyes, but they are filthy liars. They refused to be corrected, and are determined to go their own way. Because these leaders have rejected God the next generation has turned from Me.”

 

When the wicked are in power, sin flourishes, and people will not accept divine guidance. My children will be despised. Should I not punish America for this? Should I not avenge Myself against such a nation? They have lied about Me when they said, “I won’t bother them! No disasters will come upon us. There will be no wars, droughts, disease or famine because of our choices!”  Have you no respect for Me? Why don’t you tremble before Me as you should with what you see happening in your land? Your wickedness has deprived you of My wonderful blessings, and robbed you of all these good things I had for you. Worse yet, some of My children like it that way! But what will you do when the end comes?

 

Son, I paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world again. The time that remains is very short, so use the things of the world, but do not become attached to them. Understand this, knowledge makes you feel important, but it is My love and truth that strengthens My church.

 

I have given you a capable wife that is worth more than rubies. You can trust her, and she will greatly enrich your life. She gets up before dawn and prays for you. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear at the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she will give you instructions with kindness. I will reward her for all she has done.

 

Daily Devotional

Posted by & filed under Mikes Blog.

Son, someday My children will judge the world, and since they are going to judge the world, why are they being deceived by the things going on?

 

Some of My children are happy with their sexual sins. They must understand that their bodies were made for Me, and I not only care about their bodies, but their bodies are to house My Spirit. Don’t they understand how sexual sin affects them and My whole Church Body? Sexual sin is a sin against your own body, and your body is the temple of My Holy Spirit, which lives in you. Therefore, run from sexual sin, for you do not belong to yourself; I bought you with a high price, and you must honor Me with your body.

 

Son, since My children in America have become tolerant about sexual sins, the land has become polluted with wickedness. That is why the land has earthquakes, floods, droughts, and tornados throughout the land. Some of the leaders of America pretend to be sorry about forgetting Me; but they now must watch as everything their forefathers worked for will be squandered on a delusion. These leaders are clever enough at doing wrong, but they have no idea how to do right!

 

When there is moral rot within a nation it topples easily. When people reject the truth they will be praised by the wicked. Those who lead My children along an evil path will fall to their destruction. Remember that when the godly are in control, everyone is glad. When the wicked are in charge, people go into hiding, and will meet disaster.

 

So be wise and understand that wise leaders who know Me – bring stability. Therefore, surrender your pride and change your hearts, or my anger will burn like an unquenchable fire on all your sins. Your own actions have brought this upon you. This punishment is bitter, piercing you to the heart! Waves of destruction are about to roll over the land and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. 

 

Son, understand that the heart reflects the real person, so listen closely and you will know the real person. Tell My children what is about to happen and to take precautions. Those who refuse to listen will suffer the consequences. Understand this that if your leaders wanted to, they could return to Me and acknowledge their guilt. They must plow up the hard ground of their hearts! Admit that they rebelled against Me and confess that they refused to listen to My voice. Then I will give your leaders My own heart and guide them with knowledge and wisdom.

 

Daily Devotional

Posted by & filed under Mikes Blog.

Since we have set aside this day as a time when we honor our fathers, I thought it would be good to know what is a father:

 

When fathers are faithful to their children, this will cause rebellious children to accept the wisdom of God. Fathers who know how to discipline their children will cause their children to have confidence that this discipline reveals that they are loved by their father, and will show them how much God loves them. True fathers have confidence that when a child is disciplined in love – it gives them peace of mind. Words alone will not discipline a child; wise fathers understand this for they have been disciplined by their heavenly Father for their good future.

 

Being a father means standing up for those who cannot speak for themselves, to see that they get justice. Fathers do not run in the opposite direction to get away from what God is asking of them because it is hard or controversial. A father let’s people of the world know that he stands for God’s truth. He is not afraid to show love and affection, and is moved by godly compassion for people.

 

True fathers are great husbands, because they keep to their vows in everything. Their vows are not given lightly and they understand that their word must stand good – until it is fulfilled. They are men who love their wives even if they are not shown respect from their wives. They know that it is their heavenly Father who validates them as husbands and fathers, and will vindicate them in due time. They are men who know the Word of God and firmly stand on it, even if it cost them the things of this world. They are men who show their family by example that a relationship with God is first, as they spend time with their Father each and every morning.

 

A father is not a name given to men with children, but by the faith and actions of what a man does for the good of his family, both physically and spiritually. A true father cares about the legacy he leaves behind for others to benefit from, especially his own children and grandchildren.

Relationships – Chapter 24

Posted by & filed under Franks Blog.

 

Causes of Anger – Part 3

 

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

 

Proverbs 29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”  

 

When we think of the causes for anger several things come to mind that we need to consider. First and foremost that man is born with an angry streak, a.k.a. the “Adamic nature of man.”  I have two grandsons that are very enjoyable to be with, but every now and then I see this anger streak being manifested. We need to take into consideration that anger is a part of every man.

 

However, we also need to understand that anger is brought about by teaching as well, in that we learn to be angry. We see this with dogs. Take a dog that has a very agreeable disposition and start treating the dog in a bad way and we see that good disposition turning. We can turn a docile dog into a mad dog through a learning process.

 

One psychologist said: “Although anger and hostility are normal – we differ greatly, both individually and as groups, in degree and frequency of the hostile feeling we experience.” These differences in a large part stem from one’s learning or past experiences.

 

If we look internationally we see how violence is used in disputes, against disagreement. On the television and movies we see how anger is so often used to settle arguments, etc.

 

Here in the USA, part of the great debate that we have at the moment in our culture is whether or not violence on television and in the movies has anything to do with the violence in our homes, schools and communities. The answer is YES. We are being programmed to think that anger and violence is the way to settle disputes.

 

However, another cause for anger that we need to recognize is that this emotion often comes in response to frustration. In this definition, frustration can be defined by: any obstacle that hinders our progress towards a goal.

 

I get ready to go somewhere and when I get into the car I find that my tire is flat. I get frustrated and then angry because I am being impeded from reaching my goal. I am writing a report and I get a phone call that interrupts me from reaching my goal and I find myself becoming frustrated and angry. I am doing something when my wife interrupts me with another task to do and again I find myself upset and angry. Why? Because my goal has been interrupted.

 

In this we see three things about anger. First, this is the Adamic nature of man. We see this coming out with Cain when he rises up and kills his brother Abel. We read that he was angry, his human nature. Secondly, Cain learned anger through his encounter with God. God had told him what to do, but he refused to do it. Disobedience to God spurs anger in man. Obedience to God creates peace and joy in man. Thirdly, we see that Cain was frustrated to the point of anger and instead of obeying God in his sacrifice, he took his anger out on his brother. God had said to Cain that if he did right, making the proper sacrifice, God would accept him.

 

Cain could’ve prevented his own frustration and anger by simple obedience. As we look out at all the frustration and violence today we can see why it is there, and rapidly growing.

 

Relationships – Chapter 23

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Recognizing Anger – Part 2

 

Proverbs 15:18 “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.”

 

Proverbs 19:19 “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.”

 

Proverbs 22:24 “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.”

 

Proverbs 29:22 “An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one
commits many sins.”

 

When dealing with relationships, anger is something that must be looked at.  Or, perhaps I should say that anger ought to be identified. Some people’s anger is easy to recognize because the person ‘explodes,’ but some types of anger are not so easily recognizable, but yet are just as damaging.

 

The first type is the anger where the person ‘explodes,’ ‘blows up,’ like with a small bomb. He gets everything out, but he most usually kills any relationships with those around him. It is hard for this person to build any real lasting relationships as he often loses friends as one never knows what might set that person off. People are always on guard to make sure that they do not ignite the fuse to cause the person to ‘explode,’ so to speak.

 

Explosive anger is often aimed at hurting others. Anger like this is directed towards a person or persons. In an abusive relationship, explosive anger is at work. The husband explodes towards the wife and often the wife in turn towards the children. The Bible talks about a hot-tempered man. We see from our text that a hot tempered man commits many sins. This is the type of anger that can lead to murder, and often does.

 

In dealing with anger, another aspect that we need to recognize is holding in anger. Instead of exploding – he implodes. This type of anger also hurts relationships. When one is around a person who holds in anger, one senses that something is not right and therefore begins to hold back from any real commitment to the person or relationship.

 

This type of anger is hard to recognize. You realize that something is definitely wrong, but you cannot put your finger on what the problem really is. A person who holds in anger is like a fish out of the water. He is slippery. Trying to get a grip on what the problem is we find the solution slipping out of our hands.

 

A person who explodes gets everything out. This is good, but this anger directed towards another person hurts others. The person who implodes hurts himself. Eventually this anger comes out, but in a different form such as with ulcers, high blood pressure, hardening of the arteries and manyother diseases that harm the physical body.

 

A person who is holding in anger becomes irritable, sullen, tense and miserable and never seems to be able to say anything nice about another person or thing. Needless to say, this is not the type of behavior that attracts other people. Consequently relationships suffer.

 

It is important for a person who is imploding to recognize how this type of anger hurts themselves, their own body.  This person needs to change his behavior patterns and the way he thinks. Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

 

Dealing with this type of anger it is important for this person to first recognize that this is anger and call it for what it really is: SIN. Because the heart is deceitful we can very easily be deluded into thinking that because we did not explode that we do not have the problem of anger.

 

The third type of anger is perhaps the most subtle and I believe the most deadly: blaming others. The way to break a relationship the fastest is to start blaming. Perhaps we do not look at this as anger, but in reality this is what it is.

 

Right at the dawn of human history we see this anger being manifested. When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden and God came down and asked them what they had done, we see the blame game being played out. Adam blamed God (the wife YOU gave me), then blamed his wife and Eve blamed the serpent and this has been the story ever since. It is always someone else’s fault. No one wants to take responsibility.

 

Today we live in an environment where personal responsibility by an individual is not required. Someone gets fired from a job and it is the employer’s fault. Things don’t seem to work out at home it is someone else’s fault. People just don’t seem to understand that it is their own fault.

 

In building and maintaining relationships it is important for us to recognize anger and to deal with it. Later we will be looking at how to deal with anger in a biblical way.