Are any of you thinking, or even threatening to divorce the one you married? What was your relationship with God at the time you married your spouse?
Was your marriage God-approved, God-arranged, God-anointed? How do you know? Not every marriage is God-approved, God-arranged, God anointed. We know from God’s Word that a Bible believing Christian is NOT to marry an unbeliever because of two opposing spirits, (2 Corinthians 6:14) that will eventually come to serious family problems. This is not God’s will for His children. His will for our marriage and family is to honor God and be a “pillar in society” for His purpose of what a true marriage and family is and that He can bless and protect and provide for.
Yet we are also taught in God’s Word that an unbeliever could become a believer – being married to a faithful Christian. (1 Peter 3:1) Sometimes one becomes a born-again Christian after the wedding day, and then what? Do you divorce? No. You follow the teachings of Christ about faith, hope and love, and pray for your spouse, no matter how long it requires. You’ll have to stand against certain things you used to do that you’ve repented, but we learn from the Lord how to lovingly shun evil, not in judgment nor resentment.
Jesus a.k.a. the “Living Word of God,” teaches God’s will about marriage. He said that the law of Moses on adultery which allowed a man to divorce his wife, was allowed BECAUSE OF THE HARDNESS OF THE MAN’S HEART. (Mark 10:5) What did Jesus mean by “hardness?” What changes a “hard heart?” The Holy Spirit changes the heart – when we ask Jesus Christ to live in us. God gives us a new heart. So many things about us begin to change with God’s Spirit and Word living in us.
This “hardness of heart” a man has when his wife is drawn to another man (or visa versa) for whatever reason, is shamed by Jesus: “In the beginning God made them male and female. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. THEREFORE, WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO ONE SEPARATE.” Mark 10:6-9
I’ve always had a hard time with what Jesus says about divorce and marrying someone else; that it is adultery in God’s eyes. But it hit me this morning when reading this passage again, that not all marriages are God-approved, God-arranged and God-anointed. In God’s eyes, IF HE HAS JOINED THE TWO TOGETHER, then to divorce and marry someone else is to commit adultery as far as He is concerned. But like any sin, Jesus can forgive it by our faith in Him.
So, what do you do when your spouse is drawn to someone else, and wanting a divorce? What do you do when your spouse wishes he’d/she’d had never married you? What do you do when your wife refuses sexual relations with you? What do you do when your husband has a sexual affair with someone else? What do you do when your wife tries to counsel you in what a man should be, or when she uses God’s Word to correct you, or in her own way – tries to encourage you by telling you how God sees you? What do you do when your husband calls you a bitch, or a narcissist or the devil? Even if you “think” these kinds of things towards your spouse, not speaking it out, God DOES hear it – He’s paying attention to the marriages that He has arranged and approved of for a good purpose.
It doesn’t matter to God what your problem is with your husband or wife, He has one solution: GET RIGHT WITH THE SAVIOR WHO DIED IN YOUR PLACE, AND DIE TO YOURSELF AS YOU OBEY HIS PRINCIPLES FOR RELATIONSHIPS.
Jesus lived 33 years on the earth so that we could learn from Him how to think and live, how to forgive and pray and press on.
As a wife – we learn from the Holy Spirit (who is the Lord’s helpmate) how to be “quiet and gentle” with your husband as his helpmate in what God has called him to do. As a husband – learn from Jesus how to look to God and obey what He says to do, and how treat your wife – seeing her as your beautiful bride no matter how long you’ve been married; treating your wife as you favorably treat your own body. And for both, consider each other’s interests as important as your own. Learn to listen and communicate without blaming; humbly discuss your differences and concerns, and most important, learn to pray together for God’s perfect and acceptable will to follow.
AND REMEMBER GOD’S line of authority: The LORD JESUS is the head of the man, and the man is the head of his wife, and their children learn to lovingly serve their father by how their mother serves and honors her husband, their father.
Now of course, if your husband or wife is physically abusive threatening lives – then God is clear on this: Separate and turn that one over to law-enforcement and the judges of the land to deal with your hostile spouse. Pray for the salvation of your spouse. Trust God. Wait on the Lord to answer your prayers.