Proverbs 14:17 “A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated.”
Proverbs 14:29 “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.”
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up
anger.”
In dealing with personal relationships it is important to take anger into consideration. Anger is something that needs to be recognized and strongly consider.
Anger is an emotion that is felt and is a motivating force that drives us to some kind of action. For example, I think of the organization known as MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). This organization started when some mothers lost their children because of drunk drivers. They were mad at what had happened and it motivated them to action.
Anger in and of itself – is not sin. Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
When I read Scripture I see that even God is angry. Psalms 7:11 “God is a righteous judge, a God who expresses his wrath every day.” I believe that God is angry with the injustices that He sees every day and the time is coming when His righteous judgment will be poured out.
We read that Jesus went into His Father’s house and saw that it had become a den of robbers. What did He do? He deliberately went out and made a whip and with it He drove the money changers out. We read: John 2:17 “His disciples remembered that it is written: ‘Zeal for your house will consume me.'”
Mansell Pattison said: “Anger (in contrast to rage) however, is a very necessary and useful reaction. Anger is appropriate as a communication of feeling in reaction to another’s behavior.” Some movements that have been used of God have started because some people were angry at what was being done. For example, MADD “Mothers Against Drunk Driving.”
We need to also understand that our emotional makeup is from God. Emotions that God has made us capable of, when used properly, are constructive. However, if we fail to express our emotions in harmony with biblical limitations and structures, they become destructive.
What are the biblical boundaries that the Lord has given us? There are three restrictions for anger.
1. When the anger is hasty. Proverbs 14:17 “A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated.” Proverbs 16:32 “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” We see that God is angry, but it is not a hasty kind of anger. We also see that the Lord Jesus was angry, but it was not hasty anger either. He went out and deliberately made a whip to drive out the money changers.
2. When the anger is without real cause. Matthew 5:22 “But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.” (KJV) Again, we see this with the Lord Jesus Christ as well as with God that His anger is not without cause.
3. When the anger is long-lasting. Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ephesians 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” I praise the Lord that His anger does not last forever. However, there are some who have been angry with others for years. Perhaps something was done, a word was spoken or there was a grievance of some kind that for years has been held against another person with no reconciliation.
When it comes to relationships we need to recognize anger and the terrible damage it does. Jay Adams in his book, COMPETENT TO COUNSEL says: “90% of counseling problems has its roots in anger. Along with the sad and the bad – we should look out for the mad.”