His Relationship to His Wife
Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
We saw the wise man’s relationship to God, but what about his relationship to his wife? It is important for us to go back to the beginning when God created man. We read: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.’”
Together we see that they are to rule and reign. Both are necessary for subduing the earth and to rule over God’s creation. Together they are to be fruitful and increase in number. In chapter 2 of Genesis God saw that it was not good for man to live alone and needed a suitable helper and so out of Adam’s rib a woman God formed and brought her to Adam. Out of a man came a woman, but now we see that out of a woman comes a child, men and women.
A man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” This is God’s order. Not two men or two women, but a man and woman. This is the main building block for society. Tear this prime order down and soon society will collapse.
A wise man will ‘love’ his wife. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) The love that is mentioned here is the type of love that God produces and this is the love that we are to have for our wife. There are four characteristics about this love that need to be mentioned and it was this type of love that Jesus had for the church and that He gave His life for.
- Accept: Jesus Christ accepts us where we are and in that acceptance we begin to change. So it is with a husband’s love for his wife. He accepts her because he is accepted by Jesus Christ.
- Aware: Jesus was aware of us: our needs, our past, all our pains, every secret desire, etc. and all through our life – His grace will be sufficient. So it is with a wise man. He needs to be aware of his wife’s needs, her pain, her desires and her standing with the Lord spiritually.
- Gives: Jesus gave all of Himself. So it with a wise man in his relationship with his wife.
- Forgives: While were yet sinners Christ died for us. What He said on the cross He says to us all: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” If we do not have a forgiving spirit, then we will have a bitter spirit and we know how a bitter spirit can ruin and destroy.
A wise man, according to Proverbs, recognizes that a good wife is a precious gift from God and understands that a great favor has been bestowed upon him. This in turn leads him to look at his wife as a crowning glory. “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4
The wise man looks at his wife as Christ looks at the church in not only praising her, trusting her, but being faithful to her. I was writing recently to some friends looking back over the past 50 years of ministry and the one thing that we could say is that God has been faithful and that this should be the characteristic of a husband to his wife – to be faithful.
This ‘lack of’ faithfulness to wives is a problem in our society today. Proverbs admonishes us to, “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well,” (Proverb 5:15) and not to be “captivated by an adulteress. Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?” Proverbs 5:20
We live in a time when our families are under constant demonic attacks and we need wise men and wise husbands to arise for such a time as this.