All Her Days – Chapter 4

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12


Women of high standing with God are rarely seen today, just like true rubies are hard to find. The rubies we see in most everyday jewelry stores are not pure rubies and therefore very affordable. But not so with a genuine Proverbs 31 woman, she is worth far more than the purest ruby; no man can afford her. If a godly man wants a godly wife he will have to go to God for her because God is protecting her worth and honor; saving her for the right man.


Is this true of how your husband sees you? “I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.” Song of Songs 8:10


Woman is perfectly suited for man. If a man’s wife is noble in character she sees the good in him. She helps him to look good and to do good. She prays for God’s good to come to him all the days of his life.


There are legitimate expectations we have when we enter marriage that need to be fulfilled. When there is no one expecting anything from us we will naturally live for ourselves like little babies do. Living for yourself makes you a miserable person. We were created to help and serve each other; this is how we grow in love, but there are just some things we need in this life that only God can meet. To expect your husband to do for you what only God can do for you, is a false expectation that will burden down your relationship with your husband, and visa-versa with the false expectations a man has with his wife.


Does your husband trust you? How do you reveal him to other people? Do you genuinely listen when he talks to you about his job? Do you pray for him every morning and throughout the day when he comes to mind? Do you let him have the last word when you disagree? Do you go to God (His Word) to understand your husband? Are his children honoring him by the way they see you honor him? Do you humbly serve him when he needs something from you or needs you to do something for him?


A wife needs to understand and agree with God that her husband has every right to call her to account on any issue. I need my husband to hold me accountable for what I say and do. My husband needs me to do the same for him. We are called to the unity of love and truth.


Women are more given to meddle in people’s lives, and it is the husband’s responsibility to call his wife to account on it because meddling ruins households. A man is a coward and enabler who ignores his wife’s meddling in the lives of others that she has no right to. A wife who resists/opposes/defies her husband’s good correction – is disobeying God and bringing her Father’s shame upon herself.


King Solomon wore hundreds of ‘wedding’ crowns throughout his life, but none of his wives were women of virtue. They all dressed like queens and performed like queens but none understood the true value and purpose of a queen. So then, why did Solomon marry all these foreign gals that eventually ruined Solomon’s life? Why would he disobey God’s law about marriage? Was it simply to keep peaceful borders with other kings? Was he continually looking for a wife he could trust? Can you imagine all the meddling that went on between all these women?! The Scripture brings out:


Was it not because of marriages like these that King Solomon sinned? Among the many nations there was no king like him. He was loved by his God, and God made him king over all Israel, but even he was led into sin by foreign women.” (Nehemiah 13:25-26)


Foreign women worshipped all kinds of false gods. They used sex and charm to get what they wanted from Solomon, who gave in to them all – to keep the peace. What seems somewhat duplicitous is that while Solomon was working hard to keep the peace in Israel – there was great turmoil inside his own house with all his hundreds of wives. Now that can drive a man to drink! No wonder his mother warned him about women and wine.


An unhappy and discontent woman will ruin her marriage and family if she doesn’t learn to go to God for the wisdom she needs to be content and secure with her Father God. We need to take our secret desires, anger, confusion, hurts and resentments to our Father God and then obey His Word.


Unlike women of the past, there is very little strength in women today (American women especially) by which they can endure hard and difficult things as women of the past did. What has changed is how they have been taught to think about themselves, what to believe they deserve, and who they should depend on.


Women have fought and worked for equal rights instead of working on their marriage to be right with God. I’m not saying that women are not “equal in importance,” just that God has made the man and the woman very different with distinct roles. Wisdom knows how to complete. Wickedness strives to compete.


Nothing good has come out of the evolving of the “feminist movement” in America. There is an annual “Women’s March” and if you watched this last one (2017) you would have to agree that women are becoming proud to be shameful and all the more destructive to the family as God designed.


There is a false teaching in the churches that a husband is a wife’s helpmate just as a wife is the husband’s helpmate. Yes, we are to lovingly serve and help one another, but God did not give that role of helpmate to the man for what God has given the family to do on the earth.


The Holy Spirit defines the wife as being a valuable helpmate suited for her husband. She is capable of either doing him harm or good. Women have done more harm by trying to take over what doesn’t belong to them; what God has never given them charge of.


When God told Eve that her desire would be for her husband; that he should rule over her, God was not trying to limit or oppress women. He was establishing a guard and strength for her weakness. Women don’t like to think of themselves as having a weakness, and they are out to prove they can do what any man can do, but that doesn’t change the fact that she is the weaker vessel.


Women don’t need to act like men; men do. Women don’t need to go to war; men do. Women don’t need to wrestle men and compete with men in sports. Women don’t need to go after the presidency; men do. I know these statements won’t be very well accepted by self-serving women, or by cowardly men, but it’s still the truth. AND….the truth will set you free!


When a woman strives to have the headship that God has given to men she begins to think and act like a man. Then she becomes convinced there is no difference between men and women. The work of Satan’s subtle role reversal has destroyed the foundation of marriage and family. The devil gets this done by suppressing the truth with marketing of lies, and this is why we are to live out the truth and speak the truths of God’s Word.


This is the will and wisdom of God: “Man is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. Man did not come from woman, but woman came from man; neither was man created FOR woman, but rather, woman was created FOR man. The head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. In the Lord, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.” 1 Corinthians 11:7, 3, 11-12

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